How does relationship coaching work?

Two women sitting by a lake during autumn, one wearing a gray sweater and the other a hat and black shirt, with colorful trees in the background.

One of the most powerful aspects of relationship coaching is realising
you’re not the only ones…

Talking about our relationship challenges can feel taboo. As a result we often end up thinking that we're the only ones struggling, while everyone else has it all figured out.

This simply isn’t true.

You're not alone.

An elderly couple embracing and kissing each other indoors with a scenic window view in the background.

These are challenges I see all the time:

Whether you're single or in a relationship, working with me individually or as a couple.

  • Recurring arguments that go nowhere, leaving you both feeling unseen and unheard

  • The closeness-distance dance: one partner craving connection, the other needing space, which feels extremely uncomfortable for both of you

  • Lost spark: you've been together for years but the connection feels flat, with little to no intimacy or sex

  • Reactive patterns: you trigger each other and end up acting in ways that are hurtful or self-abandoning, feeling powerless to stop

  • Broken trust: whether through infidelity, lies, or betrayal, you're struggling to repair and move forward

Close-up of a cracked and broken white wall with visible dark inner material.

“How can you put a price on something that helps you rediscover the love and joy you have for your partner after a really challenging period?”

— Anna

Break Free of Stuck Patterns

I use a method called Relational Life Therapy (RLT). This is a hands-on approach, rooted in neuroscience that teaches you the tools to transform your relationship (and deals with the part of you that doesn’t want to use them).

It’s very different from traditional couples therapy or marriage counselling where you might talk for hours without much intervention from the practitioner, (basically repeating the same arguments with someone else watching).

In RLT we say it like we see it. We’re direct about what’s going on, and we teach you how to stop reacting, and start doing something different.

A black and white photo of a couple holding hands walking along a concrete pier into the water with seagulls flying overhead. In the background, a breakwater and lighthouse are visible.

Step 1

IDENTIFYING THE DYNAMIC
First, we map the pattern clearly - what you (and your partner, if you're in couples coaching) do that keeps the cycle spinning

Step 2

INNER CHILD PARENTING
Whether you get defensive, avoidant, explosive, or shut down, these reactions are protective strategies you learned in childhood. RLT helps you recognise and manage your reactive inner child parts, so they don't run the show.

Step 3

RELATIONAL SKILLS
With more awareness and agency, you can make new choices. You'll learn practical skills to navigate rupture and repair with grace. Skills that will sustain a healthy, authentic relationship long after coaching ends.

A couple sharing a tender moment outdoors, with the man kissing the woman's forehead while she smiles and holds his arms.

“The tools we've learned have given us so much more space for patience, fun and understanding.”

— Amber

Learn Relational Skills

Relationship and Couples coaching provides a shared language to understand what’s happening in your relationships and the practical tools to transform them.

It's a bit like learning to ride a bike or play an instrument - it might feel clunky at first, but once you get the hang of it, your relationship becomes a source of joy, safety, and aliveness.

Skills I Teach:

  • Self-Regulation – Learn to self-soothe so you don’t shut down or act out in the face of difficulty

  • Feedback Wheel – Move through rupture and repair cycles effectively and rebuild trust

  • Active Listening – Communicate so you feel truly seen and understood

  • Love Languages – Identify and negotiate your needs so you both get the love you want

  • Boundaries Work – Set healthy limits and ask for what you need

  • Emotional Intelligence – Enhance your empathy so you can better attune to other’s emotions and needs

  • Relational Time-Out – Take space in a way that feels secure for the other person

  • Containment & Vulnerability – Express emotions without overwhelming or shutting out your partner

  • Intimacy Practices – Experience exercises that drop you into your heart together, creating moments where you feel deeply connected

Two elderly people, a man and a woman, riding a vintage scooter together on a road near water, smiling and waving, in black and white.

“Gaia was amazing at showing how to observe our automatic reactions, self-regulate through grounding techniques and  bring us back into co-regulation”

— M

How Relationship Coaching Can Transform Your Life

Over time these profound tools become integrated into your daily life. You stop living out automatic reactions and learn how to stand up for yourself with love, and be a mature and supportive partner. The change continues to ripple out long after our time together has ended, not just in your romantic partnerships, but in all your relationships.

If you feel a spark of hope reading this I’d love to hear from you.

I offer a free 30 minute intro call so we can get to know each other. Within half an hour you’ll already have more of an insight into what’s going on, and you can decide in your own time if you're ready to commit to working together.

Whether you're seeking couples therapy, marriage counselling, or individual relationship coaching, RLT offers a proven path to lasting change.

Get in touch
A woman sitting on a cozy beige blanket with a smile, wearing a cream-colored ribbed dress with black buttons and a wide brown belt, in a room with a large green plant, a colorful abstract painting, and orange walls.